Growing up, Bek Condello lived under the constant shadow of an impending apocalypse. Her childhood was shaped by the deeply ingrained belief that God’s return was imminent, and eternal damnation awaited those who strayed. This pervasive fear of divine retribution, particularly for any perceived sin, defined her early existence. This article contains references to childhood abuse.

Condello was raised within the confines of the Geelong Revival Centre (GRC), a stringent Pentecostal doomsday church established in 1972. Former members have often characterized the GRC as a cult, noting its emphasis on practices like baptism and speaking in tongues, alongside a rigid adherence to its doctrines. Leaders of the church have previously maintained that no coercive control is exercised, asserting that individuals are free to choose whether to follow its teachings.

A Childhood Defined by Fear and Isolation

Born into the GRC, Condello’s parents had joined in their early twenties, and her mother was just 19 at the time. The church fostered an environment deeply isolated from the outside world. She recounted, “It was very closed off to the outside world. So anyone, even if you told me you were Christian, you were going to burn in hell because you weren’t coming to our very specific church.” This insular mentality meant that even other Christians were deemed unworthy.

Her upbringing was marked by a profound fear, particularly of her parents. Within the church’s strict framework, physical punishment was not only considered normal but was justified through scripture. Condello described how the more a child was physically disciplined, the more it was believed to guarantee their place in heaven. She vividly recalled her father closing all the windows to prevent neighbours from hearing her screams during these punishments, questioning how any mother could endure such a situation without an emotional response.

Homeschooled until the age of 10, Condello was forbidden from having friends outside the church. Her daily routine included half an hour of prayer both morning and night, and her future was preordained: she was expected to become a young wife and mother within the community. Her separation from her family after leaving the church is starkly illustrated by the scarcity of childhood photos she now possesses.

Seeking Independence Through Marriage

Dating outside the GRC was strictly prohibited, leading many young women to marry the first boy they ever dated. As Condello approached the brink of leaving the church, she met the man who would become her ex-husband. Realizing her parents would never simply allow her to depart, she devised a drastic plan: she wrote a letter fabricating a sexual encounter. Her reasoning was that confessing to such a “sin” would lead to her expulsion from the church for at least two years – the standard consequence for such transgressions.

Leaving the GRC typically means being cut off from all family and friends remaining within the church. However, meeting her future husband provided Condello with a glimmer of hope that she might build a new life without losing everyone. Yet, even this relationship was subject to the church’s hierarchy; her partner had to seek permission from his father and pastor, as well as Condello’s father and pastor, before anyone could even ask her what she desired.

Marriage, though not her ultimate desire, represented a pathway to independence. On her wedding night, she was overwhelmed by anxiety, feeling utterly unprepared for intimacy but succumbing to immense pressure. “I was just so monumentally unprepared for sex, but I felt this pressure… it’s our wedding night, we have to sleep together, and we tried to have sex, and it just felt so painfully impossible,” she shared.

The Final Breaking Point

At 27, Condello finally made the definitive decision to leave the GRC. The catalyst for this pivotal moment came when her then-husband confronted church pastors about allegations of abuse within the church. During conversations about their sex life, Condello confided in him her belief that she had been abused as a child, expressly asking him not to speak to anyone at the church about it.

She described this period as one of the worst times in her life. Her husband, believing her experience could expose flaws within the church, insisted on taking her childhood allegations to the pastors – a move she vehemently opposed. After a heated argument with his parents about the church, Condello’s ex-husband proceeded to confront the pastors with her claims.

Condello recalled experiencing a complete meltdown, feeling utterly exposed and betrayed. The church, she says, investigated her allegations without ever speaking to her directly, ultimately determining she was lying. Her ex-husband then also questioned her account. This experience, however, provided a paradoxical sense of clarity and confidence. Having been told her entire life that these pastors received direct divine guidance, she realised their dismissal of her truth exposed the fallacy of their claims. “I called bullshit on the whole thing… I know I’m telling the truth,” she asserted, solidifying her resolve: “OK, I’m not going back.”

A Life Reclaimed and Full of Love

After leaving the church, Condello remained married for five years. She has had no contact with her family within the church since her departure. She once wrote a letter to her mother explaining what transpired, but believes it was either unread or handed directly to a pastor, as her mother would have feared for her own soul. Condello reflects on this with sadness, believing her mother is missing out on not only her daughter’s life, but also her own, speculating that she may never leave the church.

More than a decade has passed since Condello’s brave decision to leave the GRC. In that time, she has meticulously built a life rich with love, community, and global experiences, visiting 23 countries in the past year alone. Her book, Can You Handle A Girl Like Me?, delves into her journey of self-discovery in her thirties. She expresses profound gratitude for the life she has created, unbound by external expectations.

“I have this life that is incredibly full. I feel really loved. I have so many anchors all around the world,” Condello shared. “I have places where I belong. I have people who have shown up for me as family and parents in a way that my own family and parents never did or could. I feel blessed.”